Chillin' at the Residence Inn

The hotel that I have spent way too many days living in.........................

Good thing that isn't an actual song.  Despite what has been a very mild winter thus far, I still find myself wanting to get some rays in El Paso.  New Jersey doesn't really have much rock to offer so I can only fantsize about Co-op sessions and spending $20 to climb at VEM (not worth it).  At least traveling for work has many perks that aid in making climbing trips more affordable and can sometimes be a catalyst.

Getting this credit card was a good choice for me.

I get bored if I don't work all day long and my camera is a fun toy to play with

"The Proper Evening Activity"

The raps in this song are priceless.

Bouldering in a Dry County

*DISCLAIMER - SOME OF THE IMAGES ARE EXPLICIT AND MAY BE OFFENSIVE*

Okay, this post is supposed to serve a dual purpose.  Firstly, for my own selfishness.  Secondly, for the Minnesota Climbing Co-op.  I hope that it doesn't infringe on my poor ability to write with words.

On 12-28-2011 at 3:30 a.m., Nic, Molly, Pi, Micah, and I started the 11 hour trek from White Bear Lake, Minnesota down to Horseshoe Canyon Ranch in Jasper, Arkansas.  The most critical stop was at a Bob Evans (where you can "Discover Farm-Fresh Goodness"?   ...... or can you?) in Springfield, MO.  Our group had an epiphany after finishing the food stuffs:  Bob Evans is possibly the worst restaurant ever!  Nic can elaborate on this.

NEVER STOP HERE ON A ROAD TRIP OR FOR ANY REASON 

Anywho, back at the Ranch.  The original plan was to camp, but since there was an open cabin, we decided to split that.  The cabin had a master bedroom and five singles.  Spending three nights in the cabin will make it hard to camp at HCR in the future.

Horseshoe Canyon Ranch

The first full day of climbing was spent in Cowell.  It is about a 30 minute drive to the Fontaine Red campsite from Horseshoe.  Fred's Cave (which is featured in the climbing film Dosage Vol. 5) is a hotspot that has attracted some of the best climbers in the United States.  It is fairly difficult to warm up in this area due to the fact that the easiest problem is V7.  Nevertheless, Nic, Noah, and Pi collectively made quick work of Buddy V10 and Fred's Roof V10/11.  

The Crew at Fred's Cave.  Noah is working out the moves on Chunk Up the Deuce

                         

The following two photographs are of "One Inch Pinch."  One Inch Pinch is a V12 which culminates in a precise deadpoint to a mailbox slot.

(I tried to make Pi's skin look more white)

The second day of climbing I spent at the Ranch with Micah, Nick, and Logan.  In the morning we warmed up around the South Idaho Boulders.  One of the best problems at the ranch is the four star line Dig Dug V4.  The left variant is also quite good.

Dig Dug Left

  In the afternoon, we stumbled around like a horde of drunkards looking for the Undertow boulder.  Once we found it, I was eager to pull on the small pockets.

Moving to another pocket on Shortboard V7

 Eventually the Undertow boulder's mesmerizing aura wore off and we headed to the Middle East area to end the day.

A nice V2 highball on the Little Magoo Boulder

The evenings in the cabin were spent playing Hearts and Bullsh*t.  Playing Hearts with two decks is unadulterated tomfoolery.

You don't want this card.  Or do you?

RANDOM HORSES -

A White Horse

A Little Brown Horse

The final day of this glorious climbing trip was a mixed bag of goodies.  It is always fun to warm up and run laps on classics.  This was done at Fontaine Red on Le Beak V4 and Rings of Uranus V3.

  

Topping out Le Beak V4: a difficult task for half-men that are born without triceps.

However,  there was unfinished business to attend to in Cowell not too far from the Invasion wall.  Off the Rails was a project that was discovered, cleaned, and climbed after the printing of the current guidebook.  Off the Rails, first climbed by Brian Antheunisse and graded V10, could be a contender for the best boulder problem in Arkansas.  Sending this problem became the goal of the trip being that we had already spent a half-day trying it. Micah shot some video of my final attempt where I punt, but it is a questionable punt.

Pi and Nic were able to satisfy their needs on Off the Rails.  Did they stop?  No, they wanted more, in the form of Ab Lounge. 

 

Did it stop after Ab Lounge?  NO!  We scuttled back to the ranch with about an hour of sunlight left and Nic ravaged Glass Bowl and War Bonnet and was therefore caught being scandalous.  Evidently climbing a V10 with a mono is easier than a V5?!?!

Don't Reward Nic with a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup

Since I only took pictures, I have no choice other than to post this lengthy video featuring many of the boulders we climbed, or tried to climb on, or climbed up, or climbed sideways.

Bouldering Roadtrip: 10 Days in ARKANSAS from John Gass on Vimeo.